Holiday Houseguest Etiquette: Planning For A Gracious Stay

Being a gracious houseguest during the most festive time of year involves more than finding the perfect hostess gift and arriving when you said you would—it means being exceedingly considerate and doing your part to blend into your host family’s routine. Whether you’ll be staying a few days or a long holiday week, understanding the nuances of holiday houseguest etiquette will brighten your host family’s spirits. Keep reading for our guide on how to be the perfect holiday houseguest in 2023.

Arrive and depart at the time you stated to your hosts.

Even if they say, “Gosh, it was such a quick visit,” leave when you originally said you would. They are getting ready for the next set of houseguests to arrive.

Bring a gift from home and be ready to chip in.

During your stay, be prepared to help with added groceries, wine, sodas, water, etc. during your stay.

Be a part of the festivities while you are in town.

If you are sharing a celebration that involves a gift-giving exchange, ask the host for some suggestions. If you bring a guest, the guest should also participate in the exchange so it doesn’t feel awkward. You will have to help with ideas.

Don’t expect to change up the house routine.

If your host wakes up early, you do the same. Sleeping in until noon when the rest of the house is tip-toeing around trying to be quiet is rude to your host and host family.

Rent your own car.

Or, use an uber to sightsee, travel around town or visit your friends.

Keep your room and bathroom tidy.

You are not at a hotel. Pick up your wet towels and dirty clothes, and make your bed daily.

Treat your host and their family to dinner.

Depending on how long you stay, a couple of dinners would be appropriate, or cook them a special meal and buy the groceries or have them delivered so you can start preparing the meal.

Blend into the family.

Set the table, do the dishes, take out the trash, or do whatever your host will allow you to contribute.

Respect their children and their pets.

Do not feed pets table food. Take the dog for a walk or to the dog park, and engage in conversation with the kids.

Respect your host’s property.

If you spill something, clean it up, if you break something, replace it. Leave the area you stayed in as good, or better than when you arrived.

Stay away from volatile topics.

Religion, politics and family gossip are off the table. If the topic does come up, you can either engage in a respectful manner but don’t feel the need to prove your point. It might be a good time to take their dog for a long walk!

As you say farewell to your host family, aim to leave the home with gratitude. Here’s to embodying graciousness and ensuring you’ll receive another warm welcome in 2024.

For more information about working with Diane, America’s “Go to” social and professional (manners) skills authority, please visit The Protocol School of Texas. 

See what Diane is up to by following her on Instagram and Facebook. Find etiquette inspiration on her Pinterest account and keep up with her latest tweets. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips, refer to her posts on Inc. and HuffPost.