Culinary Courtesy: Answering Your Restaurant Etiquette Qs

So many of us look forward to dining out, whether with a partner, group of friends, or someone new. For those raising little ones, the power and appeal of this time together is undeniable—being able to relax for a moment, savor your food and finally catch up on everything that’s been going on in your lives (or not).

There is often some preparation required before you sink into your chair…perhaps babysitters to book, reservations to make, selecting an outfit and getting ready, and the list goes on.

Most would agree the prep is worth it, especially with great company and amazing food. That said, you can’t control who will be seated at the table next to you, among other things. Let’s go over a few commonly asked restaurant etiquette questions in today’s blog.

Culinary Courtesy: Answering Your Restaurant Etiquette Qs

Q: What do you do if you are sitting next to a noisy table?

A: It’s always best to get the manager involved and not address the issue yourself. You can ask for another table, located in another part of the restaurant, or ask for their assistance in handling the situation.

Q: Do I need to introduce the people I am sitting with if someone I know walks up to our table?

A: Yes. When someone walks up to your dining table at a restaurant, you are expected to greet them and then introduce your group. It’s awkward and often stops the flow of a productive conversation. The best way to handle this situation when you are the one walking by the table is to smile, wave briefly and call them at a later time rather than interrupting the table conversation.

Q: Can I use a coupon in front of guests or should I wait until I’m alone or with family – does it make me look cheap?

A: You may certainly use a coupon but it’s important to make sure to tip on the original price of the bill, rather than the discounted price. If you are with a client, however, you might wait for another time to pull out your 2-for-1 hot wings coupon!

Q: How do you say the word Prix Fixe and what does it really mean? (a full meal, over several courses, with one fixed price)

A: The correct pronunciation is “pree-fix” and it is a French term meaning a fixed price on a particular menu. The diner enjoys three courses which include an appetizer, main course and dessert. There are generally multiple options and basic beverages are often included, i.e. tea and water. Liquor is often optional unless otherwise stated on the menu. At some tastings, a special wine or liqueur is served at each course as part of the experience.

Many restaurants offer this option during special occasions or weeknight dining when business is slower to encourage customer engagement.

Q: Can I substitute items on a Prix Fixe menu?

A: It’s not usual to substitute unless you have a severe allergy or dietary restriction. You should call ahead and ask before your reservation.

Q: Where should I place my cell phone during the meal?

A: A cell phone should be put completely out of sight unless there is an extenuating circumstance. Place your cell phone in your suit jacket pocket or purse to check discreetly, when necessary.

Q: When is it appropriate to send your food back?

A: You can reasonably send your food back when there is a clear miscommunication with your order. For example, you ordered salmon and they sent over steak. You can also send your food back when the food arrives cold, undercooked or over-seasoned.

The best way to send food back politely is to keep your tone of voice pleasant, let the server know the reason and do it promptly, not after you have eaten half of the item, or finished your plate. Showing respect and kindness go a long way when making a request or posing a legitimate complaint.

Q: If I don’t want dessert but I want an after-dinner cocktail, can I order my favorite, while the rest of the table is ordering their crème brûlée?

A: Yes and no. In this case, it’s important to “read the room”. If you are with a business group and everyone is having dessert, it’s best to order coffee to stay with the theme of the group. If you are with friends and they want to enjoy their sugar in a dessert, you can order another cocktail if you feel confident you are not leaving an unfavorable impression with your fellow guests.

Q: Should I offer to tip at the end of the meal if someone else is paying?

A: The etiquette rule is, the person who invites pays the bill and leaves the gratuity. You can thank your host and let them know the next meal is on you.

For more information about working with Diane, America’s “Go to” social and professional (manners) skills authority, please visit The Protocol School of Texas. 

You may also like The Etiquette of When You Should—And Shouldn’t—Send Food Back at a Restaurant. See what Diane is up to by following her on Instagram and Facebook. Find etiquette inspiration on her Pinterest account and keep up with her latest tweets. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips, refer to her posts on Inc. and HuffPost.