Diane Gottsman | Leading Etiquette Expert | Modern Manners Authority

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Easter Luncheon, Baby Shower, or Both? Ask the Etiquette Expert

27 Mar 2024 By: Diane Gottsman

Easter luncheon etiquette | ask the etiquette expert | Little baby rabbit sitting among spring flowers in garden on farm. Easter concept

Dear Diane,

I have a major dilemma that I feel breaches a major etiquette rule. I would appreciate your input. My sister-in-law has decided at the last minute to have an impromptu family and friends baby shower for one of her daughters in the middle of my upcoming Easter luncheon, with my invited guests. While I absolutely adore my niece, her husband, and his family, it’s a bit uncomfortable for the guests in attendance who I invited before this idea came to fruition. A few of them have never met my niece.

My sister-in-law didn’t ask me for permission to include a baby shower in my Easter agenda, she just made plans and told me about them after informing all of our family members of her intentions. All of a sudden, I have excited family members, making plans and creating a registry and my Easter brunch has turned into a baby shower. She also thinks my friends who aren’t familiar with my niece “will enjoy the festivities.” I’m upset and insulted with the lack of consideration shown to me by my sister-in-law. If nothing else, my brother should have given me a “heads up” to this idea. My husband thinks I’m overreacting and says I’m not showing family support. In your opinion, is this okay, or no way?

SF

Easter luncheon etiquette | Festive Easter table setting with floral decor

Dear SF,

The problem is not that you are hosting a baby shower at your home on Easter. The larger issue is you were not asked if hosting a shower at your house in the middle of another festivity was agreeable, nor were you given the respect or consideration that should have been a thoughtful conversation between you and your sister-in-law on how this shower might possibly affect your lunch plans, or the other guests. This is definitely a lack of thought, but perhaps not completely intentional. The soon-to-be grandmother may have been carried away with excitement and didn’t handle the situation properly. Hopefully, this is an isolated incident based on enthusiasm and not a controlling personality.

Time it Properly

Easter Stuffed Crescent Roll Carrots. Cooking and baking idea for festive dinner. White background, selective focus

I suggest planning the shower for the latter part of the party so your Easter guests don’t feel awkward or rushed during their separate Easter celebration. You may want to let them know the lunch has become a dual celebration so they aren’t blindsided when they arrive.

Your guests should not feel the need to bring a shower gift. If the shower is conducted later in the afternoon or evening, there might not even be an overlap. Put the presents in a separate area where they don’t take center stage until later in the day when the shower is about to begin.

Multiple Obligations

Keep in mind Easter is a busy day, with many people attending church services, some hunting Easter eggs, some attending dual festivities at different family’s homes, and then a baby shower at the end of the day.

Relatives may be in from out of town for the holiday and the perfect opportunity to have everyone together, perhaps the only time before the baby arrives.

Stick to a Familiar Theme

Easter Luncheon Etiquette | Baby accessories concept. Top view photo of knitted bunny and teddy-bear toys wooden rattle blue pacifier and gold stars on isolated pastel beige background with copyspace

While I agree someone should have asked your permission and considered your feelings before moving forward with a baby shower at your Easter lunch, making the best of the situation may be in everyone’s greatest interest. You may want to welcome your niece’s little “bunny” with a celebratory mindset of goodwill. You can even share your confusion with your brother and sister-in-law in a very respectful tone of voice, and say while you have been caught off guard, you love your niece and want to welcome the baby with open arms and heart.

Kids soft toy rabbit with bow sitting on the wooden kids chair in children room. Selective focus.

I am certain your Easter brunch is going to be beautiful and the shower will be equally special. I would certainly expect your sister-in-law to take the lead with the planning and execution of the baby shower since it was her idea. Not to be a total spoilsport, but generally, moms don’t host showers for their daughter. I had to say it, I teach etiquette! Ask your family to roll up their sleeves and get involved in this happy baby shower.

~ Diane

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Diane Gottsman

Diane Gottsman is a national etiquette expert and modern manners professional, sought out industry leader, television personality, accomplished speaker, Huffington Post blogger, author, and the owner of The Protocol School of Texas, a company specializing in executive leadership and etiquette training. Diane is routinely quoted in national and international media including The New York Times, The BBC, CNN, Bloomberg Business Week, Kiplinger, Huffington Post Canada, U.S. News and World Report, and Forbes. She is the resident etiquette expert for two popular morning talk shows, SA Living and Good Day Austin. She has been seen on The TODAY Show, HLN Headline News, WGN Chicago, and CBS Sunday Morning. Her clients range from university students to Fortune 500 companies and her workshops cover topics ranging from tattoos in the workplace to technology at the dinner table and the proper use of social media.