From Guest to Best: Memorial Day Houseguest Etiquette

Memorial Day is always celebrated on the last Monday in May and this year, it’s May 27th. For many people, Memorial Day is the start of a weeklong stay with family or friends. It’s a time for barbecues, beach trips, and reconnecting with loved ones.

Whether you are visiting for one night or staying for a couple of weeks while you sightsee and tour the charming towns around the city, following houseguest etiquette will make everyone’s experience go smoothly. Remember, being a thoughtful guest makes for a warm welcome whenever you return.

From Guest to Best: Memorial Day Houseguest Etiquette

Be Specific About When You Arrive and Depart

When your planned vacation of 4 days turns into 14, the rules have changed, and you can feel certain your hosts are watching the calendar and feeling a bit confined in their own home. Pick a start and finish time and stick to the dates. Even if your host says, “Gosh, the time has flown by, wish you could stay longer,” start packing your bags the night before your departure. The old saying, fish and houseguests start to stink after three days, is true according to a survey conducted by Serta Simmons Bedding which found that 49% of Americans think four days staying over at someone’s house is “too long.”

No Surprise Visitors

If you said you were arriving with a roommate and the roommate has two pets, your host has a right to redirect you to the nearest hotel. Whether it’s an extra friend or cousin in tow, or a couple of precious little weenie dogs, the head count should be what you expressed to your host in the original conversation.

Offer More than a Host Gift

It’s always nice to show up with a little something to show your appreciation for their hospitality, but a bottle of wine or a small plant is nice, but not enough, for a week of overnight stays. Count the cost of what you are saving on a hotel and consider taking your host out to a nice dinner, buy some groceries and their favorite cocktail setups, or something more than a candle. If you are going to their lake house or beach house, something they can use such as a small yeti cooler for drinks or a basket of fresh, new beach towels in their themed color will be a welcome treat.

Stay Off Your Phone

When you are a guest, be mindful of the family dynamics and follow their routine. Whether eating breakfast or sitting around engaged in conversation, stay off the screen and give your host and fellow guests your full attention. It’s perfectly fine to ask for the Wi-Fi password to check emails occasionally, but walking around with your phone in your hand while at the Memorial Day picnic, on the beach, or during a show is simply rude. Make a concerted attempt to spend quality time with your friends.

Make Your Bed Daily

An untidy guest room is a big issue among hosts and their guests. Even if the host does not come into your room, showing respect for their personal belongings is the ultimate act of respect. Keep your space tidy, pick up your clothes from the floor, empty the trash each day and take it out to the outdoor receptacle. I had an email from a reader sharing that every day, her guest would empty their bathroom trash into the kitchen trash can with items meant for the outdoor trash. Dirty tissues, chewed-up gum, nasty used bandages, and worse are all meant to be deposited outside by the guest.

Keep Your Feet off the Furniture

While the role of a good host is to make their guests feel comfortable, make sure and remember you are not in your living room. Use a coaster when placing your drink on their coffee table, and keep your feet off their couch or comfy chair. Make yourself comfortable, but remember you are not in your own home.

Be a Part of the Family Routine

Don’t expect to be waited on during your stay. Call an Uber rather than asking for a ride, set the table, buy some groceries and make a meal (or three), mow the lawn if you are a yard guy and your host is working, and follow the host’s routine. If they are up at 8, don’t sleep until 11:30 and make everyone wait for you.

Don’t Forget to Write

Within a week of your return home, send a handwritten note to your host, thanking them for their gracious accommodations. Leave a little set of tea towels, a pretty set of linen cocktail napkins, coasters, or a gift certificate to a favorite restaurant to show your host you appreciate their hospitality.

You may also like Houseguest Etiquette Reminders for the Summer. 

For more information about working with Diane, America’s “Go To” social and professional etiquette authority, please visit The Protocol School of Texas. 

See what Diane is up to by following her on Instagram and Facebook and find etiquette inspiration on her Pinterest account. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips, refer to her posts on Inc. and HuffPost.