Planning a Spectacular Celebration: Fourth of July Etiquette Q&A

For many people, the Fourth of July means delicious food and family time along with fireworks and fun on the water (or in the backyard). Perhaps you’ll be hosting this year, and have added all the blues, reds, and whites to your cart! Or maybe you’ll be traveling to the home of a friend or family member to celebrate, and the kids are looking forward to relay races and a patriotic-themed scavenger hunt. We’ve gathered our biggest batch of Fourth of July etiquette questions and are sharing our tips below.

Planning a Spectacular Celebration: Fourth of July Etiquette Q&A

Question:

I’ve been invited to a 4th of July celebration, but the host didn’t mention my kids – is it polite to ask if they can attend?

Answer:

The host may not have kids of their own, or they may be at their grandparents’ home and want an adults-only celebration, so knowing what to expect is the key. Instead of saying, “Can I bring my three kids?,” rather, say, “Are kids invited, or should I get a babysitter?” which takes the pressure off the host.

Question:

If I don’t want to go to the party without my kids, should I let the host know specifically why I am declining?

Answer:

Yes, but with kindness. It feels punitive to say, “I’m not going to your party because my kids aren’t included.” Rather, let the host know you appreciate the invitation but you traditionally celebrate with the kids every year. Add that you look forward to catching up with them later, and close the conversation with, “Have a great time. I can’t wait to see the pictures,” which wraps things up on a friendly, high note.

Question:

Does BYOB mean you have to bring enough for yourself and other guests?

Answer:

No. BYOB (Bring Your Own Booze) means you bring enough for you and your partner to enjoy, along with a glass or two to offer the host. It’s always best to bring an extra bottle in case you wish to share.

Question:

Should I offer to bring something if the host doesn’t ask?

Answer:

Yes. Ask if there is anything you can bring and if the host says “no,” honor their wishes. Don’t bring a dessert or a pound of brisket and expect your host to serve it or prepare it on the spot.

Question:

Should I bring a host/hostess gift?

Answer:

Yes, always. Bring something thoughtful that you think your host will enjoy. However, skip the chilled bottle of wine because the wine is not to be served at the party (it’s a gift for the host).

Question:

What should a host consider when planning a successful 4th of July party

Answer:

• The host should get a head count by asking for RSVPs.
• The host should always ask if there are any dietary restrictions or allergies. For example, if you are serving hamburgers and hot dogs, and you have six vegetarians, your menu may be lacking for those who cannot or do not eat meat.
• The host should have a variety of choices in case someone doesn’t like ribs and prefers chicken.
• The host should not be afraid to ask for help.
• The host should have a great summer playlist going in the background.
• The host should have some fun games planned for those who want to participate but don’t make the games mandatory. i.e. flag football or volleyball when someone is wearing cute shoes!
• The host should leave plenty of room for spectators to watch and enjoy the fun from the sidelines.

Question:

What does a good host do to make the BBQ party a success?

Answer:

• A good host offers plenty of water and soda options along with alcoholic beverages.
• A good host does not hesitate to ask guests to bring a favorite potluck.
• A good host sticks to their decorating budget thanks to dollar store red and blue bandanas and classic white serving pieces.
• A good host has enough chairs, a shaded area, bug spray, sunscreen, and mini fans for their guests.
• A good host utilizes environmentally friendly paper products that are easy to dispose of after use.
• A good host has fresh fruit as a healthy option for those not eating the ice cream and red, white, and blue cake.
• A good host  keeps their pets safe and calm by making sure they are in a familiar room with some of their favorite toys while strangers roam all around their home.

Question:

Do you have a special tip for being a gracious host?

Answer:

Making every effort to enjoy your own party will add to the festive spirit of the gathering! Guests can sense the positive energy of their host, so do what you can to channel your most cheerful, colorful self!

For more information about working with Diane, America’s “Go To” social and professional etiquette authority, please visit The Protocol School of Texas. 

See what Diane is up to by following her on Instagram and Facebook and find etiquette inspiration on her Pinterest account. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips, refer to her posts on Inc. and HuffPost.