Wedding Shower Etiquette Q&A for Spring & Summer

Spring has arrived, bringing with it wedding showers and the excitement of warm-weather celebrations. It’s a season of new beginnings and beauty all around. For the bride and her closest circle, there’s much to plan, and many questions to answer. If you’re hosting a wedding shower, there are several things to know in advance to make the celebration run smoothly. Here is a detailed wedding shower etiquette Q&A for throwing the perfect gathering:

Who is supposed to host a wedding shower?

Traditionally, the maid of honor, bridesmaids, and other close friends can host a shower. If there are too many hosts or too many guests, you may want to break it up into two different events.

Does the host(s) ask the bride for her opinion or advice?

Yes, the host(s) can ask the bride for general ideas but don’t involve the bride in the entire shower. You can ask questions such as favorite flavor of cake, color theme, theme for the shower, games, or no games.

What is a wedding shower dress code?

The dress code should be on the invitation—always dress up rather than down.

Who determines the budget for the wedding shower?

There should be a conversation on financial expectations where everyone is free to communicate their comfort level on how much to spend. This information is better to know before the planning takes place. Once the budget has been set, stick to it or plan to pay extra if you have something you want to add at the last minute.

Can a family member offer to help pay for a shower?

Yes, if a parent or other family member would like to contribute, they can offer to help. Oftentimes a parent will offer to pitch in without anyone knowing they are helping with costs.

How many showers can a bride have?

Two is fine, and three is getting to be too many unless there is a completely different guest list.

Do family members have to attend every wedding shower?

No! Maybe mom, or future MIL, if they are close to the hosts, but not necessary.

Can you invite friends from work who will not be attending the wedding?

Absolutely no. If you are not on the wedding guest list, you should not be on the shower list either.

Is there anyone who should NOT host a wedding shower?

Traditionally, the bride or the mother would not host, but the rule can be stretched for a mom who wants to help with a wedding shower.

Is it better to bring a gift to the shower or send it through the registry?

If there is a registry, you can feel comfortable sending it directly to the address designated on the registry site. If you want to see the bride-to-be open it at the shower, you can bring the gift, otherwise, mention the gift in the card for the bride to “casually” announce to other guests.

Can a bride send email thank you notes?

While a thank you note is appreciated in any form, the most thoughtful thank you note is by handwritten card.

What are a few simple ideas to incorporate the season into the wedding shower?

Embrace the occasion with fresh flowers, soft colors, and an outdoor setting if possible. Other possibilities include citrus-infused drinks and a garden-themed brunch. For favors, consider mini potted herbs or floral-scented candles. The right elements tie everything together in a warm and thoughtful way.

You may also like Your Dream Day Awaits: Wedding Etiquette Questions & Answers.

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