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Diane Gottsman | Leading Etiquette Expert | Modern Manners Authority

Leading Etiquette Expert and Modern Manners Authority Diane Gottsman’s official blog, with Business Etiquette, University Etiquette, Social Media Etiquette, Dining Etiquette and more.

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Splitting the Bill

etiquette of splitting the bill | healthy salad

Hi Diane,
I have a tipping etiquette question regarding dining out with a good friend. When we meet for lunch, my preference is to tip at least 20%. She likes to double the tax instead (which brings the tip to around 16.5%). My problem is this: she prefers to pay her amount for the lunch but wants to put the entire bill on her credit card. Even though I pay her my portion in cash (including 20% of the cost of my meal for gratuity), my full tip never makes it to the server. Servers are willing to split bills evenly on two credit cards, but they will not figure out the exact amount to put on each card (and I don’t blame them).
Is there a delicate way to resolve this?
– Sara M.


Dear Sara,
Kudos to you for your efforts to tip generously. I understand how this could be a tricky situation. Your best approach is to be upfront with your friend and let her know you would prefer to put your food bill on your own credit card. It’s a simple, honest gesture that allows you to handle the gratuity on your meal.

You need not make any excuses for your request. If she asks why, be honest in saying your comfort level for the tip is 20%, and you appreciate her understanding. Then keep the conversation going and don’t fret another minute over it.

You may also find my Tipping Etiquette for Spring and Summer Travel helpful. 

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Diane Gottsman is a national etiquette expert, sought after industry leader, and owner of The Protocol School of Texas,
a company specializing in executive leadership and business etiquette training.

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